wow its 2010.
hmm.. ok.. 22 days past 2010.
But it has beena crazy start so far..
I cant help but say,
its so exciting that sometimes,
i feel that i cant breathe.
SO MUCH new things happening ever since 1/1/2010.
I cant believe it.
But i gotta believe, that God has Great things planned for us. yes. indeed.
I have so many new stuff happening in my life,
let me list it ALL down:
1. new grad sch
2. new friends.
3. new roles and responsibilities
4. new me.
How shall i put this?
I started this year, grasping onto God's promise: That is, GREAT THINGS ARE GONNA COME. Lives are gonna be transformed. I am Part of his Plan.
I am entering into gradschool,doing teaching, im starting to lead a cell, i'm joining new cell, Im gonna meet new friends, Im gonna be really busy, Im gonna serve God.
Im gonna in this amazing marathon. Im gonna be bursting with passion and im gonna shine. Im gonna be so in love with what Im gonna to do.
Everything that Im gonna embark on is not easy.
I chose to step out of my comfort zone, to make new friends. its hard man..
I might be a friendly creature, but yea, at times, i am a hermit crab as well.
Going to a new cell grp, sharing with unknown people. Its not easy.
Worst of all, i had to actually drive to unknown cell place all on my own. (i've never done that)
alot of uncertaintities,
alot of
"maybe i shld just stay in my comfort zone".
but u know what, u'll never know what u might find. And indeed, i found gems.
Found friends that u know will back u and make u grow, and that U wanna back them up as well.
Thank God for them.
-------------------
Leading new cell is scary.
I hafta be an inspiration,
I hafta be doing what I preach,
I hafta be spotless.
But u know what,
Im just Cindy.
I am not perfect,
Im afraid too.
But I know,
I want to inspire.
I want to be used by God.
I want to be rememebered.
I want to change someone's life for the better.
I have missed the chance of having that special relationship with God for 25 years of my life, Im not gonna waste any more of my time.
I am grateful for this chance to know Him again.
------------------------------
Being a teacher is gonna be SO exciting,
my goal?
I want kids to look at me and think:
"Shes awesome. And Im gonna be just like her next time."
This start is bursting with lots of passion and excitment,
full of hope and great faith,
and this moment is powerful.
VERY powerful.
And 50 years down the road,
I want to still have the same moment.
I still wanna feel the fire, the joy.
Im sure I will.
------------------------------------
But yup, on the 21st day of 2010,
I fell. I paused.
"Can i not be me for a moment?"
Im exhausted.
For those who know me really well,
i guess u r used to my whinny moments:
I dun wanna be brave anymore.
I dun wanna be gd at everything anymore.
I just wanna sleep.
I just wanna switch off for abit.
I just wana hear people say
"its ok.. its ok to not be gd at whatever u r doing.."
I just wanna be loved.
Its like what if superman says
"I hate flying to save people.
I just wanna take a slow bus ride, and enjoy the ride, listen to my ipod and ignore SOS calls. Let the trains crash let the world wreck into pieces, I just want my own peace."
rawr.
I know i just like to whine for a bit,
i know I will pick up.
lol.
I know Im way better than that whinny puppy.
lol.
Today, the 22nd,
Im done with whinning.
LOL.
Last night was a long night for whinning.
Im back again.
I can do great things! =)
and even if i fall,
my life wld still be full of hopes.
You can turn off the sun,
but Im still gonna shine.
PS: I miss home. I think Im gonna thr emotional crashes becos im missing out on love therapies. thats just part of me that is so incomplete. But I know I will pull through.
Proverbs 3:5-6
trust in the Lord with all your heart and not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make you paths straight.
God bless everyone.
xoxo.
Wednesday blues, anyone?
I am not a morning person.
Im not as grumpy as my dear friend J in the morning,
but i still do have my own morning blues mood.
I dont like being annoyed by anything to wake up.
Alarms clocks piss me off.
And oh,
Vacuum cleaners,
children yelling and running,
and banging doors,
are not welcomed too.
Have been working hard all these nights for research paper,
slept at 2+,
and I know I will definitely have to wake up by 8am
cos thats my aus wakeup time.
But. this morning was a special moment.
Kids running, screaming, banging doors,
for about 20 mins,
cant help but to look at the clock,
great.
its only 7am.
Rawr. one "pissed-off" button pressed.
Thank you.
Spent 40 mins on my bed,
trying to shake that pissed off button off my head,
and finally "they are kids.. its ok..." off the buttons.
Argh. whatever.
Dragged myself into the showers.
In less than 15 mins,
4 "firemen" kicked open the bathroom door,
and ran in,
"hahahhaha, caught u."
Seriously.
I would have screamed very very loudly at them.
would have.
But im so pissed, that i didnt even bothered.
They ran out and even forget to shut the bloody door after them.
RAWR. Thank you so much for the visit.
I have to close the door myself.
I stuffed my face with the towel.
And screamed into it.
Kill me pls.
The thing I dont bloody understand is,
the lock's broken for so long,
y wouldnt anyone fix it?
Its not the first time,
that they rushed into the bathroom.
J and W rushed into the bathrooom before
when I was in as well.
ARGH.
seriously, arghh.. im speechless.
I think its just a pressure cooker effect
Now that im calm
I have to admit that this morning's incident isnt that HUGE
but its just all the incidents
(from waking up in middle of the nights,to having him to pick me up at night, awaken by noise pollution...)
plus all the negative thoughts of
"If im at home, it would be SO MUCH better"
and of course,
the lack of bitching ard.
My mates here also think that im super evil
when I bitch.
Its my form of therapy mannn..
I dont mean to harm anyone.
ARGH.
Anyways its just a bad morning.
One of those days.
Im not as grumpy as my dear friend J in the morning,
but i still do have my own morning blues mood.
I dont like being annoyed by anything to wake up.
Alarms clocks piss me off.
And oh,
Vacuum cleaners,
children yelling and running,
and banging doors,
are not welcomed too.
Have been working hard all these nights for research paper,
slept at 2+,
and I know I will definitely have to wake up by 8am
cos thats my aus wakeup time.
But. this morning was a special moment.
Kids running, screaming, banging doors,
for about 20 mins,
cant help but to look at the clock,
great.
its only 7am.
Rawr. one "pissed-off" button pressed.
Thank you.
Spent 40 mins on my bed,
trying to shake that pissed off button off my head,
and finally "they are kids.. its ok..." off the buttons.
Argh. whatever.
Dragged myself into the showers.
In less than 15 mins,
4 "firemen" kicked open the bathroom door,
and ran in,
"hahahhaha, caught u."
Seriously.
I would have screamed very very loudly at them.
would have.
But im so pissed, that i didnt even bothered.
They ran out and even forget to shut the bloody door after them.
RAWR. Thank you so much for the visit.
I have to close the door myself.
I stuffed my face with the towel.
And screamed into it.
Kill me pls.
The thing I dont bloody understand is,
the lock's broken for so long,
y wouldnt anyone fix it?
Its not the first time,
that they rushed into the bathroom.
J and W rushed into the bathrooom before
when I was in as well.
ARGH.
seriously, arghh.. im speechless.
I think its just a pressure cooker effect
Now that im calm
I have to admit that this morning's incident isnt that HUGE
but its just all the incidents
(from waking up in middle of the nights,to having him to pick me up at night, awaken by noise pollution...)
plus all the negative thoughts of
"If im at home, it would be SO MUCH better"
and of course,
the lack of bitching ard.
My mates here also think that im super evil
when I bitch.
Its my form of therapy mannn..
I dont mean to harm anyone.
ARGH.
Anyways its just a bad morning.
One of those days.
its a happy monday
Im really hoping that i can do a regular update on happenings here.
well, not just hope, kinda like a must-do / want to for me.
eee-hahhh... today is a happy monday..
went to Big W, to buy stuff to make bday card for my german friend, johannes
yes, im in the creative/artistic mood.. =)but i cant find the glue to stick it all together. rawr!
looks pretty decent eh?
Went for viet food (run by singaporeans), but its gd.. normal pricing too..
My friend ordered this viet coffee.. my first time seeing this apparatus.
The coffee seeps from the metal apparatus.. very aromatic.
Very strong coffee.. reckon that its good for burning midnight oil. ha
Anyways but the weirdest thing was, the shop stole plates from Delifrance in sg:
Dinner was great with my 2 other sg friends,
talking abt silly sg stuff.
apparently, my friend who hasnt went back for 2 years +,
wanna know if "City Beat" is still airing.
LOL.
The sentence of the day from my research prof:
If you wanna put ur own opinon in ur data research essay,
Go do journalism instead.
This course is not for you.
If we need ur opinon,
then whats the data for?
I wanna remember this. LOL.
I enjoy being challenged by sacarcism. LOL.
Life's a bitch.
well, not just hope, kinda like a must-do / want to for me.
eee-hahhh... today is a happy monday..
went to Big W, to buy stuff to make bday card for my german friend, johannes
yes, im in the creative/artistic mood.. =)but i cant find the glue to stick it all together. rawr!
looks pretty decent eh?
Went for viet food (run by singaporeans), but its gd.. normal pricing too..
My friend ordered this viet coffee.. my first time seeing this apparatus.
The coffee seeps from the metal apparatus.. very aromatic.
Very strong coffee.. reckon that its good for burning midnight oil. ha
Anyways but the weirdest thing was, the shop stole plates from Delifrance in sg:
Dinner was great with my 2 other sg friends,
talking abt silly sg stuff.
apparently, my friend who hasnt went back for 2 years +,
wanna know if "City Beat" is still airing.
LOL.
The sentence of the day from my research prof:
If you wanna put ur own opinon in ur data research essay,
Go do journalism instead.
This course is not for you.
If we need ur opinon,
then whats the data for?
I wanna remember this. LOL.
I enjoy being challenged by sacarcism. LOL.
Life's a bitch.
this moment is powerful.
So much emotions flowed thr my mind today.
I ought to record this down.
I have to remember this powerful moment.
Few days ago, because of a silly chick flick i watched,
I immersed myself into the fairytale mood.
Asking myself if I would ever be in one.
Just as I was still in that silly thought of mine,
my friend told me about her breakup,
and how shitty she feels.
crying, not eating, feel like dying and all...
I thought,
Is the assumed fairytale that worthwhile after all?
An hour later,
I went with lunch,
and was told that this guy from sg,
jumped into oncoming train and ended his life.
A honours psychology student,
great in sports,
a wonderful son i suppose..
Why take life so lightly,
or maybe i didnt understand what happened,
or rather, yea, I dont even know him
but I wished I could tell him,
I could be a friend for him.
I could be his listening ear.
Sigh.
Then I went on facebook,
and saw my friend's wedding pictures.
I looked and thought,
I wished I'm like her too.
Having a partner for life.
I paused.
*wake up*
I'm afraid of daydreaming and falling into my own stupid traps.
I seen so much going on in W's life.
I dun wanna walk that path..
But I shall not worry.
Lfe's now semed to be so much more motivating.
I trust in God,
I live by faith and not sight.
Cos I know He will provide.
I serve Him, and
I chase after my dreams,
with no fear,
knowing He will be here.
Very fueled. Very powerful.
What are your passions?
What are your deepest yearnings?
If you could do absolutely anything in the world,
what is it that you would do?
Your heart knows the answers
to these questions.
It is whispering to you right now
this very moment
So listen to it and follow it.
It will always be your best guide in life.
Never fall into ur self-made traps.
I heard that voice in me loud and clear.
Im running towards it.
I ought to record this down.
I have to remember this powerful moment.
Few days ago, because of a silly chick flick i watched,
I immersed myself into the fairytale mood.
Asking myself if I would ever be in one.
Just as I was still in that silly thought of mine,
my friend told me about her breakup,
and how shitty she feels.
crying, not eating, feel like dying and all...
I thought,
Is the assumed fairytale that worthwhile after all?
An hour later,
I went with lunch,
and was told that this guy from sg,
jumped into oncoming train and ended his life.
A honours psychology student,
great in sports,
a wonderful son i suppose..
Why take life so lightly,
or maybe i didnt understand what happened,
or rather, yea, I dont even know him
but I wished I could tell him,
I could be a friend for him.
I could be his listening ear.
Sigh.
Then I went on facebook,
and saw my friend's wedding pictures.
I looked and thought,
I wished I'm like her too.
Having a partner for life.
I paused.
*wake up*
I'm afraid of daydreaming and falling into my own stupid traps.
I seen so much going on in W's life.
I dun wanna walk that path..
But I shall not worry.
Lfe's now semed to be so much more motivating.
I trust in God,
I live by faith and not sight.
Cos I know He will provide.
I serve Him, and
I chase after my dreams,
with no fear,
knowing He will be here.
Very fueled. Very powerful.
What are your passions?
What are your deepest yearnings?
If you could do absolutely anything in the world,
what is it that you would do?
Your heart knows the answers
to these questions.
It is whispering to you right now
this very moment
So listen to it and follow it.
It will always be your best guide in life.
Never fall into ur self-made traps.
I heard that voice in me loud and clear.
Im running towards it.
random post (yet again)
these are some random pics which I have been too lazy to upload.
The below is hailstorm pic which i took. aka raining iceballs from the sky,
if Missy J iss here. she will definitely be WOWed.
The kids all yelled "ICE AGE 3!!"
And Wendy says " must show Missy J the pics"
And oh, its joshua's birthday yesterday. Hes so happy.
and back to our all time fav: Mr Jacob Lee
oh, and i love dressing him up
He is just SO adorable.
The below is hailstorm pic which i took. aka raining iceballs from the sky,
if Missy J iss here. she will definitely be WOWed.
The kids all yelled "ICE AGE 3!!"
And Wendy says " must show Missy J the pics"
And oh, its joshua's birthday yesterday. Hes so happy.
and back to our all time fav: Mr Jacob Lee
oh, and i love dressing him up
He is just SO adorable.
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